people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
