i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
