Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
