was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
