i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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