i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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