wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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