5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize