Four minutes until I can fart!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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