It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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