I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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