Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
