So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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