So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
