That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
