ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
