i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
