i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize