In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
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Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
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My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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