We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
