can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She bit a glass in half.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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