the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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