is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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