He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
