Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just tell him i said nine months
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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