I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
