i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
sex in a hospital.. check
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
