from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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