is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
