I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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