OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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