she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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