You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
