Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
