So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
