I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
