Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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