Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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