Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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