my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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