yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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