i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
