I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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