I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
