I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
