Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize