Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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