You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
