walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
