Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
