no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
id be glad to
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
