The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
