Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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