Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Swine flu. Run for my life!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
