I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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