What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
