The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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