and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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