So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
